Wooo. š¬š¬š¬ Ok, y'all. So, umm... Vulnerability moment. š
Me:
Ok, so for the last 2 years, I have been dating a wonderful man, Christian. He's great. š„°š
And just recently, God challenged me and asked, "So, tell me again why are you not sharing this aspect of your life just as publicly as others? I have been teaching you so many lessons as you two have gotten to know each other better, yet you are withholding these lessons from the audience I have given you." š¤š¤š¤
My response:
I went into straight up excuse mode. "Well, Daddy (that's what I call God) I don't want people's negative opinion to discourage me... I want to protect my relationship... I want to be lowkey." Lame excuses are all those were, lol. šš
But, as I sat before God, the layers of "false self protection", hurt, and my subconscious desire to "prevent" any future hurt or pain began to melt away. God basically told me the motive behind many of my actions stemmed from unforgiveness... Unforgiveness towards myself and fear of another failed relationship through poor decision making resulting in more heartache.
I am sure as many of you all know from previous posts, the last relationship was pretty toxic. I have forgiven the individual who caused me so much pain, and I thought I had forgiven myself too. But, God showed me I hadn't fully forgiven me.
Journaling really helps me break down my thoughts and dig deep. So I began to write out some of the thoughts I had pertaining to myself and the past relationship.
-You were overly spiritual, prideful and didn't think you could sin and do wrong sexually.
-You used your own failing wisdom to make plans you wanted for your life
-You desperately searched for love in a man thinking it would make you okay and whole.
-You aimed to do many wrong things, incur debt, have sex, life to your loved ones, and manipulate the system to sustain the mess you made with your plans.
But when all the walls came tumbling down, God swooped in and saved you. šš¾šš¾šš¾šš¾šššššš¾šš¾šš¾šš¾.
Me:
Also me:
God said, "Jenn, you can release yourself from the chains of unforgiveness you bound yourself with. I, The Almighty God, have forgiven you. Be FREE!
Do not look back at the past anymore. You can walk naively, freely, carefree, even careless in the boundaries of my endless love, in the borderless confines of my wisdom and knowledge.
Be free, love freely, love openly, rest in my presence, rest in my wisdom, commune with me.
Love Christian without restrain. He won't hurt you. He is for you! He is your husband-elect. He is your covering. He is your keeper here on Earth.
Anytime a lie comes in and tells you to protect yourself and fear, tell the lie that:
-The Lord is my Shepard Psalm 23:1
-You abide in the shadow of The Almighty Psalm 91:1
-The Lord is my shield and buckler Psalm 91:4
-The Lord delivers me from the snare of the fowler and the deadly pestilence Psalm 91:3
-You find refuge under the wings of The Most High Psalm 91: 4"
Psalm 91: 5, 8, 10
I will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that waste at noonday...only with my eyes will I look and see the recompense of the wicked.
When fear draws near, draw near to God.
I pray this post helps you to overcome and conquer your fears. When we remain in constant communion with God we can be rest assured that His wisdom, revelation and the continued conversations with us will always help us to stay out of harms way and in the will of God-- which we know is for our good.
Let's continue to remain steadfast in God. In Him is the best place we can be.
Be blessed.
XOXO,
Jenn
Fun Facts About Jenn Jenn
So.... this happened a couple weeks ago. ššš
Let's see if you can catch my drift š
Jenn Jenn Vibes
God always reminds me, in His presence is the best place to be. No matter how busy we may be, let's always try and find time to just lay before Him and get restored.
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